Decisions.

Shane and I have decided to leave our church. We have been feeling like the Lord has been leading a different direction for quite a while, but were afraid of leaving, fear of the unknown, fear of starting over, etc. After much praying, we have decided to finally pursue these other doors that the Lord will be opening up for us in a different church. Not sure where that church is yet, but we are going to spend the summer checking out different churches and see what God has planned for us. We are in no way leaving because we are angry, just feeling like we are being led in a different path. So many doors have closed for us at our church and it was a good sign to us that there are doors to be opening for us someplace else.

We love our friends and family there at CitySpring and will miss them a lot.
But, it is summer and there are lots of barbeques to be had! :)

You're not alone

I have come to love Meredith Andrews. I first heard her on Pandora when I was listening to my Addison Road station during the late fall when my heart was hurting over a tough situation. I was sitting in the bathtub and the song You're Not Alone came on and I just sat there and cried my heart out to God. I was bitter, angry and sad and needed God to just hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. This song truly blessed me to remember that I am never alone, even when I sit in my living room by myself I am not alone. God is always with me.

You're Not Alone: by Meredith Andrews

I searched for love
When the night came
and it closed in
I was alone
But You found me where I was hiding

And now I'll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name
Saying

You're not alone, for I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest nights
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All of your life.

You cry yourself to sleep
Cause the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost
With heartache your closest friend and everyone else long gone

You've had to face the music on your own
but there is a sweeter song that calls you home
saying

You're not alone
for I am here
Let me wipe away your every tear
My love I've never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest nights
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life
All your life

Faithful and true forever
My love will carry you home!

You're not alone
For I am here
let me wipe way your every fear
my love I have never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
your darkest night
and I'm the one who's loved you all your life
all of your life.


Powerful words. Definitely what I needed to hear at that point in time. I felt alone. Like everyone was gone and forgotten me. I was hurting and lost. This song brought me out of that and allowed me to look to heaven and cry out to Jesus to hold me and envelop me with His loving arms. He wiped away my tears and allowed me to move from that point in my life to a better mindset. I sometimes will be listening to Pandora and hear this song. It brings tears to my eyes even now. I sit here this morning reflecting on my walk with Jesus and I can't find the words to express to Him how much He means to me in my life. Thank you Jesus for your everlasting love and for loving me through it all. <3

Old fashioned.

So I don't watch a lot of tv, but since we have gotten directv here at the new place, I have been more apt apt to check out what's on. Since I am home during the day alone, I try to find something on there to at least listen to. Most of the time, it is music. we have a bunch of music stations on the tv that are no interruption, no commercial, nobody trying to get you to call in with pledges, plain old music. My favorite channel is Malt Shop Oldies. Yes, I know what you're thinking....a girl of 31 listening to oldies and liking it? Yes. I am truly a young person with such an old heart. I have a very old fashioned point of view. I truly believe I was born in the wrong decade. I would have been better suited to be a 1940's or 1950's housewife, cooking with my dress and heels on underneath my apron. Cookies baked when the kids came home from school. Black and white tv, or, gasp, just a radio.

I truly find myself wondering how anyone can watch some of these shows that are on tv these days. I see things advertised on commercials for these new shows and things, and I truly find some of them offensive. I cannot and will not being myself to watch the show modern family. I think it is the most offensive piece of junk on tv. But, if you look around, it is the modern family. It seems like in every show these days there is somebody cheating on someone and then someone else decides to shoot a person or kill them, you have gay people kissing on tv. When did this happen?!?!? Have I been asleep for the last 31 years? Whatever happened to decent shows where people had morals? Whatever happened to our country that had morals?

It's no wonder a lot of kids are stressed out and on some sort of medication these days. With divorce on the rise, kids with same sex parents, career oriented parents with careers on their mind and not their kids, single parents. It's no wonder there are so many kids that go to school doped up on antidepressants, anti anxiety meds, ADHD meds when they don't really have ADHD. Kids with behavioral problems that aren't special needs, they just need to act out to get attention because they dont' get any at home. Either that or they are shipped off to daycare for most of their day. It saddens me. It saddens me to see kids going to empty homes at a young age before they are even old enough to understand what to do in an emergency. So sad.

I know it's not my job to save the world. But if we just spent a little more time loving each other a little more, wouldn't that help? Love your neighbor, even if that means your enemy. I have had to do that many times and it is hard, but much better than the anger and hate that develops inside your heart if you don't love them. Okay, off my soapbox.

Later!

Indecisive

I have always been an indecisive person. Since I was a little kid, if there was a choice between ice cream or cupcake, I would mull it over until I was made to make a choice and typically I would just eeny meeny miney mo and then feel like I made the wrong choice and that I would rather have had the other one....

I hate making choices. It seems like no matter which choice you make, you always wonder in the back of your head if you made the right choice. I will sometimes pray and pray and pray and make the decision I am sure God has told me is the right choice only to feel the doubts creep up in the back of my head.

Decisions are never easy to make. They are always difficult, some being more difficult than others. But trust in God to help you make the right decision and try not to question yourself after you have made that choice. That's something I am going to be working on....

Later!

New Blog

Hey!

I have started a new blog. I am now going by random thoughts by kristian, because that is what this blog will be. Just random nothingness.

Enjoy.